| it seems i've found the comp once again to drain myself of what i cant seem to get rid of any other way. a nice thunderstorm comforts my broken heart tending to it. i feel like i cant discover what it is im searching for and the one person i seem to need is not there for me and never hears my calls. how they dream while i lay wide awake dying each and every sec. more as they find peace. the rain hopefully will drown out the noise my pain is making. im finding that myself only allows a few moments of happiness then it takes it away as though it was never there before. i feel i must die to actual create something beautiful for you to discover but then comes the courage. must this nite drag on knocking its way into my thoughts carrying on its deconstruction of my heart and though it shall as u seep into the distant not glancing back to make sure i am there.
what the fuck was i thinking.
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| I'm done trying fuck this life if it means crying and hurting myself to stop the pain in my heart then I'm out done for there's nothing great I'm missing .... I know it's emo but fuck it that's me so dying bye that name isn't so bad ....
It's been awhile but life always brings me back to this place .... |
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| i thought everything would be clean cut and not broken seams but it seems that i've once again realized people just make life to complicated and overbearing. tangled words through my ears and its reorganizing and brushing the past beneath the carpet. apart of me wishes you never came back at all making my mouth and eyes filled with the uninvited. i know its hard to just get caught in a netted mess like a struggling fish but i'm not the hook that brought you up for too much air. childish games have got me realizing its a long long time since i've played in the sand box and at least then i knew how to speak the language. i'm not sure why its always me who has both feet on the ground and brings the waves back in that keeps your boat a rocking. time to turn around and hope you find your feet cause i'm too much of a steady rocker to help and cant say i haven't tried. lets just bury the ribbon you gave me for my hair and the news of weekly updates and scatter them in the wind along with all the other precious things we hold dear. i'm glad i didn't wait seems if i had i would've just been disappointed like i am now as you turned away and i said goodbye to the words you thought you meant. its just an overplayed song that everyone is annoyed and finished with by now. Just a contrast to this old room and a thousand summers when past our kite lines crossed. I hope you understand less is best. i wont look back as a rule and now memories are dark light on a summers day. i hate these shadows we've cast that don't even mimic our body forms. well for now i just hope you relax take a deep breathe and know the good old days our behind us now and maybe we'll find more as we close our eyes and the sun comes up.
........................ today ill just listen......................
im glad my lips still taste love and i have you to find comfort in. |
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| lovely how things turn out sometimes you can have an amazing night and learn something about what you already thought you knew and life just throws some things in there so the turnout is different.
im kinda stressing even though i know it will just make things worse....
well honestly its a good thing it made me stop and think alil of who i use to be and how i use to lecture on this topic my tongue so sure of the words it created.
thanks love for being there for me im glad i got you beside me cuz that way we can go down together.
lets make things interesting shall we....
give life another name.
x] |
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| Lovely weather .!
Rain..truly blissfull
.....dimissing the signs that
equal our downfall. Realizing it's
a ghostly thought and too much
has pasted. Wishing the stars still
gazed at the moon and my heart
Wasn't beating for two. ...
It's been too long since I could sleep
And it's time I head home, night.
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